Hum... jus realise that i had been sick for 3 times in 4 months.
not jus normal kind of sickness, first time was very very serious, then the other time was having flu, now having sore throat at first, then flu + cough... have been sick since rp open house second day... till now.. not recover yet... how sia..
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Friday, January 20, 2006
Sunday, January 15, 2006
why god alway gave mi surprises that is so unpredictable, and when i'm totally unprepared for it... human nv understand god's thinking...
it's alway when i'd given up my hope upon somethings, i given up my hope becos i had tried hard enough and to no avail, then that something that i hope for, came so sudden that i couldn't believe it and unable to take that shock.
It's good that i actually get part of the things i wan...
Hai...
it hurt me... it nv going to be the same again... once it changes, second, third times and so on will changes forever n ever...
__________________________________
two person said to me that...
i commit myself too much on other stuff and neglect them, do i really?
i tried to commit myself to every things that i loved, however i need to priortize which one come first, it alway happen like this, so that when it's time for me to choose i can decide fast and wouldn't be that terrible...
In life the most difficult things to learnt is to give up, and learnt to accept it. in which ever aspect of life, giving up comes in very often... hai...
it's not time to give up yet, however i hope no force come into me, i dun like being force, as i will act without thinking...
I saw a book name 'why customer do they thing they do?'. is quite interesting... haha same as why i wan to do the things i do?
i do things with reason(s), rarely i do without reason.
Now, i'm learning to accept what people wants, i won't force anymore. you want to do this rite go ahead then, i wun do things to change ur mind, i tried too hard getting the things i wan, and i end up each time with sadness. Many time i almost tears, especially someone who i have high hope on... tot that they wouldn't upset mi, but in the end, they wan their way still. ok i respect you by giving you wat you wan. jus hoping that, they still respect me by doing at least 1/3 of wat i ask for, i'll be glad.
i understand dat not everyone is alike, and they don't think alike. jus give and takes.
if i wan it the way i wan, and people jus dun agree to it, it either i give in or i do all the things... that's the way... if the things must go like this, and no one willing to work, well i take all the job then, i guess this is wat many people need to learnt... and it's the hardest amoung all.. cos not everyone wans to take everything, usually they just give up...
for me choosing to give up, is my very very last resort. cos i hate failure, regrets, and nv even try it but choose to give up...
i think i should go learnt psychology instead of science haha..
it's alway when i'd given up my hope upon somethings, i given up my hope becos i had tried hard enough and to no avail, then that something that i hope for, came so sudden that i couldn't believe it and unable to take that shock.
It's good that i actually get part of the things i wan...
Hai...
it hurt me... it nv going to be the same again... once it changes, second, third times and so on will changes forever n ever...
__________________________________
two person said to me that...
i commit myself too much on other stuff and neglect them, do i really?
i tried to commit myself to every things that i loved, however i need to priortize which one come first, it alway happen like this, so that when it's time for me to choose i can decide fast and wouldn't be that terrible...
In life the most difficult things to learnt is to give up, and learnt to accept it. in which ever aspect of life, giving up comes in very often... hai...
it's not time to give up yet, however i hope no force come into me, i dun like being force, as i will act without thinking...
I saw a book name 'why customer do they thing they do?'. is quite interesting... haha same as why i wan to do the things i do?
i do things with reason(s), rarely i do without reason.
Now, i'm learning to accept what people wants, i won't force anymore. you want to do this rite go ahead then, i wun do things to change ur mind, i tried too hard getting the things i wan, and i end up each time with sadness. Many time i almost tears, especially someone who i have high hope on... tot that they wouldn't upset mi, but in the end, they wan their way still. ok i respect you by giving you wat you wan. jus hoping that, they still respect me by doing at least 1/3 of wat i ask for, i'll be glad.
i understand dat not everyone is alike, and they don't think alike. jus give and takes.
if i wan it the way i wan, and people jus dun agree to it, it either i give in or i do all the things... that's the way... if the things must go like this, and no one willing to work, well i take all the job then, i guess this is wat many people need to learnt... and it's the hardest amoung all.. cos not everyone wans to take everything, usually they just give up...
for me choosing to give up, is my very very last resort. cos i hate failure, regrets, and nv even try it but choose to give up...
i think i should go learnt psychology instead of science haha..
Sunday, January 08, 2006
my uncle pass away... jus got a message from my dad..
it's so sudden.. life is so unpredictable... e last time i saw him was like last CNY, dun even noe i saw him or not... hai... maybe even before CNY which was when my grandma pass away... i still remember it well. it's on april fool, jus before i enter my poly... so on every april fool i wun even think of making of fun of others cos it's ain't anything fun to me at all... last year grandma pass away for one yr le.. now three more month and it's going to be 2 yrs le.. life pass so fast i dun even remember it's one or two yr le...
as i grow older... i'm more afraid, not afraid of dying but afraid that my relative, grand parents and parents pass away. i dun wan that to happen... hai.. that's how life sucks.. when one by one left u... and eventually u left.. it's an non ending thing...
it's so sudden.. life is so unpredictable... e last time i saw him was like last CNY, dun even noe i saw him or not... hai... maybe even before CNY which was when my grandma pass away... i still remember it well. it's on april fool, jus before i enter my poly... so on every april fool i wun even think of making of fun of others cos it's ain't anything fun to me at all... last year grandma pass away for one yr le.. now three more month and it's going to be 2 yrs le.. life pass so fast i dun even remember it's one or two yr le...
as i grow older... i'm more afraid, not afraid of dying but afraid that my relative, grand parents and parents pass away. i dun wan that to happen... hai.. that's how life sucks.. when one by one left u... and eventually u left.. it's an non ending thing...
Friday, January 06, 2006
Feeling bad recently...
hai.. not sure why... haha.. i alway not sure de...
i feel that i'm perfectly normal, but i don't feel good at all...
it just weird that i dun feel like eating since sch start... i have no appetite at all. and it shouldn't happen to me... cos i love food alot... so much that i couldn't control myself not to eat... the only time i felt hungy is during morning when i just reach sch... then for the rest of the day i dun feel hungry at all, maybe i do feel hungry but i got no mood to eat too... hai...
am i under stress? or am i having depression? (not possible ba)
so far i only eat in sch for the three times (proper meal) inclusive of lunch and dinner... and i dun eat when i reach home lor... actually is ok la.. attended sch for e past three days only.. haha.. jus that one day i onli take one meal.. which is not very normal...
Have i given up everything and just wan to focus on study and band... if it is.. it's very serious...
is just equivalent to i'm crazy le...
what i know now is that my mind is very clear now... i noe what i wan to do, and what i should do... could i be focusing so much that i jus forgot about every other things...
hai.. not sure why... haha.. i alway not sure de...
i feel that i'm perfectly normal, but i don't feel good at all...
it just weird that i dun feel like eating since sch start... i have no appetite at all. and it shouldn't happen to me... cos i love food alot... so much that i couldn't control myself not to eat... the only time i felt hungy is during morning when i just reach sch... then for the rest of the day i dun feel hungry at all, maybe i do feel hungry but i got no mood to eat too... hai...
am i under stress? or am i having depression? (not possible ba)
so far i only eat in sch for the three times (proper meal) inclusive of lunch and dinner... and i dun eat when i reach home lor... actually is ok la.. attended sch for e past three days only.. haha.. jus that one day i onli take one meal.. which is not very normal...
Have i given up everything and just wan to focus on study and band... if it is.. it's very serious...
is just equivalent to i'm crazy le...
what i know now is that my mind is very clear now... i noe what i wan to do, and what i should do... could i be focusing so much that i jus forgot about every other things...
Monday, January 02, 2006
Working at borders
Working on the first day of the year...
while... was quite slack in the morning... the crowd started coming in the afternoon and people keep coming in, queuing non stop, line getting longer...
at a point of time when there wasn't any queue...
a customer came in... telling mi a boy lost his mum... asked if i can help the boy... of cos i have to... i went over.. the boy kept crying and crying...
i asked what's his mum name... he cried.. trying again asking his name... again he cried.. i not sure wat to do lor... hahaha... feel very sad for him... the way he cried made mi wanted to cry to... luckily his maid saw him... so i dun really have to anything... hehe...
wonder wat will happen when i have children... the kid will alway cry de... haha... by that time, there will be someone to take care of kid in times like this ba.. lol... : p so let him take care ba...
while... was quite slack in the morning... the crowd started coming in the afternoon and people keep coming in, queuing non stop, line getting longer...
at a point of time when there wasn't any queue...
a customer came in... telling mi a boy lost his mum... asked if i can help the boy... of cos i have to... i went over.. the boy kept crying and crying...
i asked what's his mum name... he cried.. trying again asking his name... again he cried.. i not sure wat to do lor... hahaha... feel very sad for him... the way he cried made mi wanted to cry to... luckily his maid saw him... so i dun really have to anything... hehe...
wonder wat will happen when i have children... the kid will alway cry de... haha... by that time, there will be someone to take care of kid in times like this ba.. lol... : p so let him take care ba...
Sunday, January 01, 2006
went to esplanade...
wanted to meet sherline and ming cong at esplanade there de... i went there after my work abt 10 plus... they were working till 1 am lor... anyway i went to find sherline.. but i couldn't find her... and very hard to reach her also.. hehe
as i walk on.. i'm feeling hungry.. and hungry, and very hungry.. so went to find food.. after i got my food le.. i try to call her again but cannot le.. cos i think got network prob.. however manage to get ming cong.. haha he was stuck at esplanade also.. while i was stuck beside a traffic light.. didnt wan to move cos either way there were too much people... the position where i was waiting for the fireworks was just nice (it's a nice spot to rest, not to catch a fireworks)... haha when it started... i could only c like half of the entire fireworks.. am happy enough la.. couldn't be bother to move around also.. too tired le.. haha
after it finished.. i was thinking whether i should move or stay there.. not sure why i just sat there for quite sometime that i decided to move.. at first tot of taking bac home.. anyway i wasn't thinking when i started walking... all i could care abt is get to the mrt and decide later... hahah.. while it wasn't that bad.. still got more then enough space for mi to stand... haha anyway it is only a few stops... hehe...
anybody i saw... yep... my fren's bro.. haha.. that's it.. haha.. so tired.. going to get a quick bath and go slp le.. later working in the morning. got to wake up at 6 30 like dat.. haha
Happy New Year...
my new year resolution...
last few nights i think of alot.. but now i all forgot le.. haha...
wanted to meet sherline and ming cong at esplanade there de... i went there after my work abt 10 plus... they were working till 1 am lor... anyway i went to find sherline.. but i couldn't find her... and very hard to reach her also.. hehe
as i walk on.. i'm feeling hungry.. and hungry, and very hungry.. so went to find food.. after i got my food le.. i try to call her again but cannot le.. cos i think got network prob.. however manage to get ming cong.. haha he was stuck at esplanade also.. while i was stuck beside a traffic light.. didnt wan to move cos either way there were too much people... the position where i was waiting for the fireworks was just nice (it's a nice spot to rest, not to catch a fireworks)... haha when it started... i could only c like half of the entire fireworks.. am happy enough la.. couldn't be bother to move around also.. too tired le.. haha
after it finished.. i was thinking whether i should move or stay there.. not sure why i just sat there for quite sometime that i decided to move.. at first tot of taking bac home.. anyway i wasn't thinking when i started walking... all i could care abt is get to the mrt and decide later... hahah.. while it wasn't that bad.. still got more then enough space for mi to stand... haha anyway it is only a few stops... hehe...
anybody i saw... yep... my fren's bro.. haha.. that's it.. haha.. so tired.. going to get a quick bath and go slp le.. later working in the morning. got to wake up at 6 30 like dat.. haha
Happy New Year...
my new year resolution...
last few nights i think of alot.. but now i all forgot le.. haha...
Thursday, December 29, 2005
tuesday working...
saw a little boy playing with the floor stack of books... he's so cute and innocent... hehe... he was removing the some books from the floor stack, i went to him...
" what ya doing boy?" smiling to him la... haha. for that moment he was kind of stun i think.. i shock him.. hahaha... anyway i put back those books that he put on the floor back.. then left the last book he put it back himself.. haha.. then after that he went to tell his dad that he put back the book... haha cute sia... he very chubby lor... hehehe
saw a little boy playing with the floor stack of books... he's so cute and innocent... hehe... he was removing the some books from the floor stack, i went to him...
" what ya doing boy?" smiling to him la... haha. for that moment he was kind of stun i think.. i shock him.. hahaha... anyway i put back those books that he put on the floor back.. then left the last book he put it back himself.. haha.. then after that he went to tell his dad that he put back the book... haha cute sia... he very chubby lor... hehehe
to my beloved......
family problems.. who doesn't have it...
the reason i study may not be for myself.. i jus like the feeling of being in sch... frankly speaking, i'm very lazy when comes to study... trying hard not to let the laziness take over mi...
i really believe in fate (not faith)... who ever we are, what ever we can do is not within our control... God has already lay the path for us, we can choose another road. it may not be as good. for this moment, jus do what ever we want, as long as we are able to. we can choose the bad or good path... good path required lots of work and effort, while bad one will be easier... however, choosing the wrong path.. you won't be any happier... it may not be the one you wan...
what ever it is... if you think is better this way then you should go ahead...
i would say try not to give up on anything till the last moment when you really cannot take it, then come to think abt it again.. it won't be too late...
dun worry about anything, tml will comes its way.... tml will be a better day perhap...
family problems.. who doesn't have it...
the reason i study may not be for myself.. i jus like the feeling of being in sch... frankly speaking, i'm very lazy when comes to study... trying hard not to let the laziness take over mi...
i really believe in fate (not faith)... who ever we are, what ever we can do is not within our control... God has already lay the path for us, we can choose another road. it may not be as good. for this moment, jus do what ever we want, as long as we are able to. we can choose the bad or good path... good path required lots of work and effort, while bad one will be easier... however, choosing the wrong path.. you won't be any happier... it may not be the one you wan...
what ever it is... if you think is better this way then you should go ahead...
i would say try not to give up on anything till the last moment when you really cannot take it, then come to think abt it again.. it won't be too late...
dun worry about anything, tml will comes its way.... tml will be a better day perhap...
Monday, December 26, 2005
had fun today... thanks to my dearest president, QM and this gal clarinet section rep... hahaha...
it's sherline first time went into pub and drink alcohol i think... underage leh... still can go in whahah...
i've been wanting to get a drink for myself lately... finally i got it... though wasn't strong, while it's alright... hahah... ming cong treat us leh... so nice of u... haha...
sherline and my face were so red... haha though it's like sherline first time and it isn't my first time... jus will go red regardless of how much i drank... mine was like a little redder then her.. whahah...
after drink went to nydc to eat.. hehe..
overall we enjoy ourself.. oh ya before that... i was working in the morning till 2... then went to glosz house after that... rpws comm was already there... haha...bought ice cream for them... 50 cents hehe... then i bought daniel a present cos i tot it suits him well... want to get everybodys one present jus that got to wait cos dunnoe wat to buy yet... hehe... ur turn will come...
yeah... anyone wan to sponsor mi hair cut... at 25 bucks.. whahaha...
it's sherline first time went into pub and drink alcohol i think... underage leh... still can go in whahah...
i've been wanting to get a drink for myself lately... finally i got it... though wasn't strong, while it's alright... hahah... ming cong treat us leh... so nice of u... haha...
sherline and my face were so red... haha though it's like sherline first time and it isn't my first time... jus will go red regardless of how much i drank... mine was like a little redder then her.. whahah...
after drink went to nydc to eat.. hehe..
overall we enjoy ourself.. oh ya before that... i was working in the morning till 2... then went to glosz house after that... rpws comm was already there... haha...bought ice cream for them... 50 cents hehe... then i bought daniel a present cos i tot it suits him well... want to get everybodys one present jus that got to wait cos dunnoe wat to buy yet... hehe... ur turn will come...
yeah... anyone wan to sponsor mi hair cut... at 25 bucks.. whahaha...
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
i'm very happy recently... not sure why things jus came smoothly as i wan to...
sometimes when i jus tot of a things, or jus thinking if it would happen, i tot it wouldn't happen... but when i look straight, it was there without further thoughts...
i not sure how i going to do it for my study... each time i think i very scare i could not graduate with diploma... i hope god would help me in this area, which i'm really weak in... i jus not used to studying so hard, i couldn't take so much stress, i will cry...
i very scare but i dunnoe how to start...
sometime i really feel like quiting my work... i couldn't take it... but i really got no choice... i jus wan to concentrate on study for now... but how? with my work requiring mi to work at least 20 hrs a week.... hai... worrying abt so much stuff in life is so tiring...
crying in my heart
i'm not as strong as i used to when i jus came to RP...
especially these few days... have been alway waiting to c him... tot that i would nv get to c him this holiday... hum... keep seeing him these days after he's back... 3 times in a row (in 2 days)... couldn't believe it also...
in market, walk pass each other in train station (he was just next to me and he didn't see mi, :( sob sob..), at the bus stop (took the same bus too)
few days back still thinking if i will see him outside... as i tot, i will only be able to c him in sch...
not sure y heaven is making mi happy... i guess i'm crazy... really miss him... how would i able to let it go...
anyway... whether if i'm with him or not... i will be jus glad ... for that past memories that this guy had given mi... thanks ya...
for that, this guys has given mi a chance that i will nv forgets, i would say that he's the nicest boyfriend i ever have ( i'm so touched)
wish you good luck, and all the best...
the door will alway be open for you...
currently we (everyone) should focus on our goals first ba (study, hehe)... it's not the time to be involve in relationship yet... it takes time and patient for each other...
sometimes when i jus tot of a things, or jus thinking if it would happen, i tot it wouldn't happen... but when i look straight, it was there without further thoughts...
i not sure how i going to do it for my study... each time i think i very scare i could not graduate with diploma... i hope god would help me in this area, which i'm really weak in... i jus not used to studying so hard, i couldn't take so much stress, i will cry...
i very scare but i dunnoe how to start...
sometime i really feel like quiting my work... i couldn't take it... but i really got no choice... i jus wan to concentrate on study for now... but how? with my work requiring mi to work at least 20 hrs a week.... hai... worrying abt so much stuff in life is so tiring...
crying in my heart
i'm not as strong as i used to when i jus came to RP...
especially these few days... have been alway waiting to c him... tot that i would nv get to c him this holiday... hum... keep seeing him these days after he's back... 3 times in a row (in 2 days)... couldn't believe it also...
in market, walk pass each other in train station (he was just next to me and he didn't see mi, :( sob sob..), at the bus stop (took the same bus too)
few days back still thinking if i will see him outside... as i tot, i will only be able to c him in sch...
not sure y heaven is making mi happy... i guess i'm crazy... really miss him... how would i able to let it go...
anyway... whether if i'm with him or not... i will be jus glad ... for that past memories that this guy had given mi... thanks ya...
for that, this guys has given mi a chance that i will nv forgets, i would say that he's the nicest boyfriend i ever have ( i'm so touched)
wish you good luck, and all the best...
the door will alway be open for you...
currently we (everyone) should focus on our goals first ba (study, hehe)... it's not the time to be involve in relationship yet... it takes time and patient for each other...
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
| You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish |
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
^
|
some are true... lol... some dunnoe, some not at all...
Monday, December 19, 2005
| Your Birthdate: October 25 |
 You excel at anything difficult or high tech. In other words, you're a total (brilliant) geek. It's difficult for you to find people worth spending time with. Which is probably why you'll take over the world with your evil robots! Your strength: Your unfailing logic Your weakness: Loving machines more than people Your power color: Tan Your power symbol: Pi Your power month: July |
woke up at 11 plus today... then went back to sleep again.. cos still early for the concert.. hehe then wake up at one thirty.. actually tot of staying at home dun wan to go concert one... haha... but anyway jus go lor.. since at home got nothing to do also. that daniel even worse woke up at 2pm when our concert is abt 1 hr away.. super li hai... and sherline told mi that... she went to his house to press the door bell, call his house and his phone... no one ans... whahaha... daniel pei fu ni... hahaha... ya.. so i tot i can do my thing slowly lor... suppose to meet at 2.30pm.. everyone was late... when i reach there tot that someone already there, i was shocked when i reached and tot i ended up in the wrong place... no one was there yet... started to panick... whaha.. jus called whoever that i knew they r coming... got to know that everyone going to be late.. so jus wait there lor...
the concert was quite boring at first... dun really know how to appreciate classical music... sherline was slping half way through the concert... the last few pieces were very nice... actually we go to the concert becos of sherline lor.. whahaha... at first all of us say dun wan to go de.. hehe..but we are there already so must as well lor.. after concert went to marina square wanted to have carl's juniors... after some decision went to cafe cartel.. hehe... then go to willie's work place to have some ice cream and drinks... hehe.. after that go city link buy sherline's frenz's stuff... then go home...
at first tot of going home... then when i reach outram park going towards NEL.. then i remember i haven't meet up with my old frenz very long le.. so call Bing wei up... hehe... he's at commenwelth (watever the spelling)... jus abt to go home... hum.. at first wanted to go there meet him.. then he said the car dunnoe can take so many people or not.. watever it is end up meeting him at commenwelth mrt... his dad drive and fetch us to his place there (my old house)... whahaha... hum... bing wei's bro sounded like someone... hehe... hum... then talk talk talk to him at playground till abt 12 when i was abt to go home... but i need to go toilet first... haha then when we want to go take cab rite saw siew li... then talk to her till 12.45am like dat then go home.. hahah... hum.. that's all for the day...
the concert was quite boring at first... dun really know how to appreciate classical music... sherline was slping half way through the concert... the last few pieces were very nice... actually we go to the concert becos of sherline lor.. whahaha... at first all of us say dun wan to go de.. hehe..but we are there already so must as well lor.. after concert went to marina square wanted to have carl's juniors... after some decision went to cafe cartel.. hehe... then go to willie's work place to have some ice cream and drinks... hehe.. after that go city link buy sherline's frenz's stuff... then go home...
at first tot of going home... then when i reach outram park going towards NEL.. then i remember i haven't meet up with my old frenz very long le.. so call Bing wei up... hehe... he's at commenwelth (watever the spelling)... jus abt to go home... hum.. at first wanted to go there meet him.. then he said the car dunnoe can take so many people or not.. watever it is end up meeting him at commenwelth mrt... his dad drive and fetch us to his place there (my old house)... whahaha... hum... bing wei's bro sounded like someone... hehe... hum... then talk talk talk to him at playground till abt 12 when i was abt to go home... but i need to go toilet first... haha then when we want to go take cab rite saw siew li... then talk to her till 12.45am like dat then go home.. hahah... hum.. that's all for the day...
Saturday, December 17, 2005
so much to learnt in life...
In life...
Sometimes i got it... sometimes i dun... got to depends... only till i see it then will i understood... must it alway happens this way? wouldn't it be a little too late? sometimes... it's better to prevent it then let it happen. take a step back then... walk the other way instead... only then you wouldn't get yourself or other hurt...
anyway... i would rather let it happen, then to leave mi guessing all the way...
should i cont'? or take another path... i guess i wouldn't choose to take another path, i shall cont' till i see an exit rite? giving up isn't the rite way...
every door that i exit, i enter another door...
Sometimes i got it... sometimes i dun... got to depends... only till i see it then will i understood... must it alway happens this way? wouldn't it be a little too late? sometimes... it's better to prevent it then let it happen. take a step back then... walk the other way instead... only then you wouldn't get yourself or other hurt...
anyway... i would rather let it happen, then to leave mi guessing all the way...
should i cont'? or take another path... i guess i wouldn't choose to take another path, i shall cont' till i see an exit rite? giving up isn't the rite way...
every door that i exit, i enter another door...
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