25th August

I guess I'm on Tao Hua Yun.... lol.. dunnoe why leh...

But all is Lan Tao Hua.. hahaha...




He's sick too... Poor thing.. lol..

He's handsome...

I think I'll stay in my old pathway...

I'll wait and see... hehe...

Let's see how long i can last.. whahaha..

22nd August

Went to watch Ghost Game today...

Not very nice leh.. lol..

The front part very nice but later.. kind of weird.. lol.. fall aslp lo.. can see how bad is it rite. fall aslp watching a horror movie? whahaha.



The Ans....
I Dunnoe...

What should i do?

I think my expectation too high...

21 August

Upset...

So are we still having meeting today...


I came to class at 11 today.. did my PPT by 11.30.. went to eat with Veron till 12.30 and chat with her till 1 plus.. and now.. chating with frenz online.. waiting for faci to come at 2pm... and not sure wat time we will end..


I watching Ghost Game with frenz tml.. therefore i can't watch today!!!

20th August

Went to Westside Anglican Church today...

No idea why I go too... maybe i want to find out more abt him...

I'm surprise that i'm able to wake up... Slept at 4 am last night and waking up at 8am? is kind of impossible for me. ya noe? I'm soooo Lazy..

haha... actually i already woke up before Gladys called me.. but i'm lazy to get out of bed.. 8.30am.. i'm still in my bed.. lol. den she msg and i replied her.. n i cannot went back to slp after a few replies to her.. so decided to wake up and go.. whaha..

They did their Welcoming to those who are new to there...
Announcement of First name, that person rise up their hand, n people claps.. Second name, third name and so on.. @ that time i was wondering.. are they going to call up my name as i had filled in the form just now 4 those who are new there... and they DID.. my gosh.. i was so embarrassed.. i dun feel like rising up my hand.. but i got to do it... cos people are waiting for me.. -_-'''

Well..
The speaker... no idea what they call it.. i think he's good...

I'm a listener but i'm not someone who will speak out my mind and ask question... but deep in my heart i'm asking.. what ever it is.. i alway get my ans back.. hehe...

I was quite surprise at the end of the speech... i think if like a few years back i wouldn't be able to accept it.. but now i guess i'm able.. slowly.. we are just Human who are trying to express our feeling out to god...


Dear Lord Jesus,
I believe You are the Son of God. I believe You came to earth 2,000 years ago. I believe you died for me on the cross and shed Your blood for my salvation. I believe you rose from the dead and ascended on high. I believe You are coing back again to earth.

Dear Jesus,
I am a sinner. Forgive my sin. Cleanse me now with Your precious blood. Come into my heart. Save my soul right now. I give you my life. I receive You now as my Savior, my Lord, and my God. I am Yours forever, and I will serve You and follow You the rest of my days. From this moment on, I belong to You only. I no longer belong to this world, nor to the enemy of my soul. I belong to You, and I am born again.
Amen!




At Jurong East..
I was pretty tired.. glad that i didnt went out for movie.. i guess i will slp in cinema. haha..
I saw someone.. hehe.. i was so surprised to see him there... chat for a minutes.. lol..

when i reached home.. i get change.. den go to slp at 4plus till 11 plus.. i'm real tired.. and for the first time i slept so long for a nap.. i really had a good rest.. lol..

I need to go back to slp soon.. haha.. got sch tml.. and i'm still tired.. lol..

19th August

Love is Amazing... It's Spontaneous, it's sudden, it's what you will never think of...

I think i found him.

Realise it only a few days ago.. lol..

Not sure whether if it's going to work out..

I noe he's interested in me, n i'm kind of interested in him too..

Should i give it a try?

He is a person who i never tot would be interested in me, and me never tot we will click so well.




I'm on Diets.. Hope i can do it..

i'm demoralise lo.. cos i can't milk and alot of things i cannot eat.. therefore i think there is higher chance of going on Diets for Real..
whaha

hai.. jus knew it..

lol..

i shouldnt have talk so much.. haha..

anyway wat ever it is.. it has been done.. can't be undone. that's it lo.. Let it be..bleh.. that's me..

This is the second time these kind of things happen to me.. there wont be a third time.

Now that i know too well.. that's enough le..

I think i'm pretty wicked. whaha.. i like to do funny things that turns out bad.. lol..

Things that i shouldn't do, i go and do it.. anyway it's good.. so that i know there won't be a third time.. plus it show me the truth...



It just that i never meant to belongs there ba...

whaha.. i just likes to learn and observe things/human... i'm a deep thinker... Not sure when this started i guess is becos of trust...



Just badly miss my frenz out there...

16th August 2006

Suddenly... I just felt these...

I'm Missing someone out there.... but i dunnoe who is it..
I think i jus miss the feeling of someone who can be with me alway... who going to be him?
You know the feeling of being able to depend on another...

It's going to be one year soon and it just pasts like dat... Wonder is this really me?



Anyway... Today which is 15th August...
Suppose to have meeting abt the Band Camp.. however.. people put me on aeroplane... they didnt turn up.. Nvm.. that's ok.. But they didnt bother to tell me! Infact I've to call them!! Angry!!! I mean if only you guys tell me earlier i wouldn't even go to sch lo.. I went to sch becos of this meeting! ok.. NVM.. but yest night you guys said ok... what is OK? OK = FYP!!! WTH...
if you guys have FYP den tell me earlier dun wait untill i need to call you guys lo.. Then left only me and aisha.. discuss what.. SHIT ar! if i had brought my phone and my internet connection was fine i might not be this angry.. Wat a FUCKING day is this sia... forgot to bring HP and having prob with internet connection is already quite pek chek le lo.. den.. hai... right now.. i'm ok le la... jus that.. hate that feeling of being lied.. I truely hate Liars!!!
Not sure why, i just hate liars. I hate people who broke their promises. not really promises, as in you tell me you can make it. then when that day come you said you can't make it or wat... i especially hate it! i really really hate it. I mean just be frank la... i dun mind if you tell me before hand that you might have something on or wat... even though i'm last min.. i nv say it's a must to have meeting.. if really most cannot make it there is no point having meeting rite.. hai.. dun talk abt this le.. will only make me think...

after classes went out with aisha to watch movie.. hahaha.. we watch Ant Bully.. very Nice and Funny lo... and very worth it.. haha.. too bad JY dun wan to come out.. SHE DUN WAN TO PICK UP AISHA CALL... whaha.. anyway it was fine la.. hehe.. anyway i guess we enjoyed ourself.. yeah? haha.. we chat alot lo.. JY you miss out this part.. whahaha..

I really miss you guys... when's the last time we went out together? whaha.. ever since we step into Woodlands Campus, we have lost touch le.. Not in the same class anymore also.. haha...

Why everyone Hates themselves??
hum.. there's no point hating yourself.. i mean if you think you aint' good in someway and hated that way you do things or wat... shouldn't you be loving yourself more... so that you won't do stupid thing or so... hum..

i love myself too much that i spoiled myself.. lol.. maybe bcos i dun like the feeling of Regrets. tat makes me do things with thinking.. but most of the times i dun think.. lol.. i did it onli at night.. lol..

14th August 2006

My Laziness becoming more like a bad habit... and it's becoming worse...

I'm lazy to do everything... not sure why.. jus don't feel like doing it... i guess my ignorance had becoming a habit of laziness..

Wonder what had change me?

I jus wanted to have fun and enjoy myself... asking myself to go sch is jus like killing myself...
Not motivated to go school anymore...
Top 10 Reasons in the Morning I ask myself why i dun wan to go sch!
Reason No. 1 - It's too far
No.2 - Laziness
No.3 - I dun like the modules
No.4 - I've lost interest in Science
No.5 - No motivation to go school
No.6 - Slp late at night
No.7 - Cannot wake up
No.8 - Stubborness
No.9 - I don't care about my Grade!
No.10 - Why should i work so hard for something which i don't intend to cont...


Frenz there... Dun worry about me.. i know very well what is there for me. Dun pressure me... i dun like to work under pressure, i can't work well.

I can only overcome this by myself no other can help.

Let there be fun for me and not stress...



What i need now is time to be alone...

I realise that... ever since yr 2, i'm living with stress everyday. there isn't really one day i can stop thinking about what i need to do next. I'm just too tired...
even when it was weekends i still think abt sch, even when i'm not in sch.. people still come and ask me abt sch.. everyday i'm face with problems regarding sch... that alone can be very stressful... and it's doesn't just stop there... life alone doesn't really lie with school only.. what about my others side of me... i dun even have time for that and i'm face with only more and more problems but not lesser...

I'm human i need rest...

I guess skiping sch is just one of the way for me not to think of sch.. that's why...

I have no one to face to.. becos everyone i tok to will just ask me how's sch... i hate that question. I hate these 'You nv come sch again', 'how many times have you skip?', and so many so many..
oly a few will say... hey let's go out... (that's my sec school frenz)
they will nv nv ask me abt my sch... i really happy when with them.. but sadly i can't alway be with them, as alway the next day i'm having sch..

Other times... i jus talk to myself and start wondering... I'm a deep thinker.. lol.. that's when i started thinking if god really exist.. i chosed not to believe in religious cos i really can't figured it out and i'm not able to accept it yet.
But i know he's there...
Everytime when i face difficulties and have doubt i will ask God... one of my fav question. 'God, do you really exist?' den start asking why this and why that happen...
I feel better each time i ask a question. i've no idea why.. and maybe that makes me believe he exist.. but still accepting a religion is hard for me..

I will nv talk to a frenz regarding this.. it's kind of weird..
Since God was the Creator, he knows me better than anyone. Therefore, i'm able to open up to him...

13 August 2006 : 10.45pm

whaha...
i bought a new score just now.. i'm so happy.. got one more books of scores to play le..
the first tin i reach home to do was.. take out my guitar and try it.. and then.. it's below my expectation.. haha.. the pieces is a little too easy and doesn't sound really nice.. anyway.. i'm very happy...

the next books of score i going to buy is 'The Library of Classic for Guitar'.. if i didnt remember wrongly.. it's cost alot!!! but it's worth it as it's quite thick.. hum.. wonder when i can get it.. $63 for that book! i can't wait to get it.. but sadly i got to wait till next month... who can buy it for me?

I forgot my pin no. just now!! when i was buying this book 'Fingerpicking Classical".. i key my pin for three times and i nv got it correct.. so unexpected.. as i nv forget my pin no for my card.. luckily the fourth time i key i got it right.. if not hor.. i cannot buy that book le. hehe..

Missing you...

13rd Aug 2007 : 12.15am

From 7pm since i reach home, i feel like slping.. but untill now i'm not slping yet.. was watching Naruto since i reached home till now lo..
anyway.. i cried when i was watching it.. lol.. i think i too emotional le.. lol..

hum... Daniel, Sherline, + dunnoe hu went out today with Pei Xuan and Stanley.. but i didnt go.. I spent too much too much within the last few days and didnt feel like going out to spent.

I know myself too well.. i couldn't control myself.. i do what my mind wants. even if i wan to control it's hard for me to resist when it's infront of me... therefore i dun wan to go out. i knew i sure spent without knowing what i spent on.

Furthermore, my birthday coming up. if i really spent like my old self... then i can forget about this yr birthday le...

I'm one who couldn't even control myself needless to say abt my frenz to help control me...
I'm getting worse.. perhap too tired trying to go against my own wills.. so just let it be.. what ever it is.. as long as it's not within the failing.. i'm alright...

I'm quite stress up with many things.. hai.. so sian..

i feel like.. i'm kind of hack care abt everything ard me.. sch and band...

Will i be like this sem when the new term start? let's see what i can change for myself..

I'm still looking for people to interview for my PP. I found one actually but then the person is not in Singapore.. hai..

My FYP... hai..

Anyway all this i think i still can cope with it... but then.. regarding my family problems... is much much worse... Now i'm just wishing that this last few months past quickily so that the problem will be solve.. I'm very scare the day will come... Pls don't..

Pls Let me Endure for 4 more months... I will be glad...


Friday Night...
it's all started with Wei Lun taking my shoe away and exchanging it with me.. stupid.. His shoe size is like 10 and mine like 7... i have no idea how he manage to size his feet in la.. anyway it looks weird on me.. with one feet big and one small.. crap la.. and he didnt wan to change back.. hum.. i'm so glad when he said let's change back my feet hurting.. whahaha.. huo gai..

before we left RP.. was outside Music Storage room.. Jing wen wanted to try out my shoe size. so i took out my shoe and let her try. while i was wearing back my shoe.. THIS SAM!!! come from my back and stole my shoe!! den.. it's ok.. but he threw it to Yu Zhuang and YZ actually walk to in front of 7-11.. WTH.. lol.. Stupid SAM n YU ZHUANG.. who made me walked with one feet without shoe and one feet with Wei Lun shoe to 7-11.. you guys going to get it one day.. whahaha. my shoe really so nice to play ma? or is it me really nice to bully?.. lol.. so mean!

Right after guitar we headed to city hall to watch fireworks... reach there JIT.. lol.. but couldn't get a good view of the fireworks.. after the fireworks finish... headed to golden mile market to eat.. took a bus there.. but before that.. as we were walking to the bus stop.. i was messaging.. so didnt actually see there is someone in front of me.. then my cheek hit a cute baby head.. i very scare he cry lo.. lucky he didn't.. den i sa yang him.. whaha.. so ka wa yi.. lol.. btw he's not a baby la.. abt 2 yrs old ba..

i wan to slp le.. nite..

3rd August

sian..

jus finish 3rd meeting.. was actually studying for my Proteomics UT.. den...

people are unforgiving.. wanting every thing for their own goods... why can't they see a bigger picture in it..

I dun understand..

eeerrrrrrrrrrr........

my hair is still standing up.. disgusted by pictures of body piercing.. couldn't withstand the craziness of the people piercing everywhere they could.. my god.. it's the first time i see it.. gosh... now i couldn't even take in a cup of drink.. i think it just make me puke..


anyway... the reason why i saw those pictures because i'm searching for whether tragus is made of bone or catilage.. then got this body piercing website.. haha
and the reason i'm searching for tragus is because i went to pierce my tragus today.. with elaine psyching me to pierce.. haha.. cos she wanted to pierce as well.. whaha...

show u guys

n my hand is recovering.. hehe...