14th August 2006

My Laziness becoming more like a bad habit... and it's becoming worse...

I'm lazy to do everything... not sure why.. jus don't feel like doing it... i guess my ignorance had becoming a habit of laziness..

Wonder what had change me?

I jus wanted to have fun and enjoy myself... asking myself to go sch is jus like killing myself...
Not motivated to go school anymore...
Top 10 Reasons in the Morning I ask myself why i dun wan to go sch!
Reason No. 1 - It's too far
No.2 - Laziness
No.3 - I dun like the modules
No.4 - I've lost interest in Science
No.5 - No motivation to go school
No.6 - Slp late at night
No.7 - Cannot wake up
No.8 - Stubborness
No.9 - I don't care about my Grade!
No.10 - Why should i work so hard for something which i don't intend to cont...


Frenz there... Dun worry about me.. i know very well what is there for me. Dun pressure me... i dun like to work under pressure, i can't work well.

I can only overcome this by myself no other can help.

Let there be fun for me and not stress...



What i need now is time to be alone...

I realise that... ever since yr 2, i'm living with stress everyday. there isn't really one day i can stop thinking about what i need to do next. I'm just too tired...
even when it was weekends i still think abt sch, even when i'm not in sch.. people still come and ask me abt sch.. everyday i'm face with problems regarding sch... that alone can be very stressful... and it's doesn't just stop there... life alone doesn't really lie with school only.. what about my others side of me... i dun even have time for that and i'm face with only more and more problems but not lesser...

I'm human i need rest...

I guess skiping sch is just one of the way for me not to think of sch.. that's why...

I have no one to face to.. becos everyone i tok to will just ask me how's sch... i hate that question. I hate these 'You nv come sch again', 'how many times have you skip?', and so many so many..
oly a few will say... hey let's go out... (that's my sec school frenz)
they will nv nv ask me abt my sch... i really happy when with them.. but sadly i can't alway be with them, as alway the next day i'm having sch..

Other times... i jus talk to myself and start wondering... I'm a deep thinker.. lol.. that's when i started thinking if god really exist.. i chosed not to believe in religious cos i really can't figured it out and i'm not able to accept it yet.
But i know he's there...
Everytime when i face difficulties and have doubt i will ask God... one of my fav question. 'God, do you really exist?' den start asking why this and why that happen...
I feel better each time i ask a question. i've no idea why.. and maybe that makes me believe he exist.. but still accepting a religion is hard for me..

I will nv talk to a frenz regarding this.. it's kind of weird..
Since God was the Creator, he knows me better than anyone. Therefore, i'm able to open up to him...