I got a call for an interview... was pretty shocked actually. It's from AIA, application for an Personal Assistant.. i'm not sure whether this job suit me and I was pretty afraid that i didnt like it.. I really not sure wat i want to be.. so confuse..
I'm pretty sure that i didnt want to further study on a full time basis.

i came to sch at 11 plus am... haha.. cos i dun wan to go for lab session as i'm also lazy to bring lab coat..

The word 'Fats' is coming into my mind... i'm getting fatter and fatter... could no longer stand myself in this way... controlling my temptation on food.. and after graduation i'm going to gym for workout.. i think stress make me keep eating, instead of losing weight... Last time also...

All good foods are unhealthy to health, they are alway oily, and full of proteins. These proteins which unuse become ur fats, adding on to the oil that we ate it become too much for the body to burn away the fats. accumulating more and more fats each day, so i cant go on like this... so if to eat those food, i got to think of way to burn away the excess fats...

longing for the lost love... wonder which was it?
the love which is self center is reducing... while for the other might have increased... no idea... but i'm still longing for both...

to trust is to obey, to love is to fear, to seek is to be hungry, and experiences increase faith.
Wat else more?

Seen or unseen? the eyes does not see the unseen, the ears does not hear the unheard, the mouth speak the untruth.

The world is full of lies...

What you know might not be the truth, the heart might not know, the eyes might not see, the ear might not listen, the mouth might not speak the truth, the brain deceive by the eyes and the ears.

Dunnoe wat am i thinking...

i kept having nightmares recently... Doesnt feel good abt it.. i guess it just isnt a dream dat simple... or probable i'm disturb by something as in keep thinking about something but dunnoe wat is it.. everytime woke up by my dream and it was pretty scary... today i dreamt about haunted house, my frenz and i went to the haunted house and there was 2 other grps of people going there... anyway it really horrible la..

Today woke up... somebody came to my house.. which isnt any good sign at all... affected by all this things... couldnt stop thinking abt it... and not sure wat to do... n it kind of affect my next step.. whether to go on study or not.. i'm very tired..

I noe that it will be very tough for me if i'm going on to study, not the study part.. i shouldnt just think abt myself... but if i'm doing it for my family it's contradicting too...

i'm really lost... i can only wait for God's reply...

Yosh!

Very long nv update blog le.. haha..

My parent want to move house again... sian.. anyway i dun really like my this house but i do like the place.. so it's so near town and mrt is so near.. dun feel like moving.. but no choice parent wan to move wat to do...

Today, my mum fetch me to sch.. i told my mum the express way is the other way den she say infront also got express way... -_-''' Den we by the PIE which i dun recognise the road to school.. normally i took cab i go by CTE... she drive very slow also la.. by right can reach sch in 20 mins but she took abt 40 mins to reach RP... sian diao.. tot can reach sch by 8.30 but then i reach at 8.50 like dat.. ask her fetch and i took train to sch no difference la..

Anyway we are lost in woodlands.. i dun noe which exit to enter... den pass by the exit to ave 2.. i sian diao.. haha.. den exit by ave 3... which i'm totally lost.. haha.. den i let my mum tour ard woodlands.. abt 10 to 15 mins ba.. lol..

After all the tour ard... i reach W3 realising that there is lab today and i totally forgot.. i didnt bring my lab coat... Most of my frenz having lab today even worst.. haha.. end up lending from the lab technician..

wat a day!..

Frenz..

Sometimes.. i started thinking recently..

Too much frenz is not a good things... hai.. As my range of frenz becomes broader my time like becoming shorter and shorter.. Maybe not to everyone but to me.. haha..

I already have to give in my time to so much things like my CCAs, works, School, and sometimes projects, and i got to give my time to my frenz, and not forgeting Christ...

Sometimes watching anime.. haha.. and can you believe that i actually watched 288 of One Piece, 183 of naruto, and recently, 10 of death note, 4 of bleach... whahhaha.. how much time i have wasted on all this.. hai...

Perhaps is becos i dun noe how to organise my time.. haha.. thinking back i really got to sacrifice some of the things on my list..

If i am to carry on like dat... i dun noe how my life would be like... maybe that's why i going lesser to band and guitar... Rite now school work got to be my piriority.. even if someone out there were to say somethings because i didnt give enough time for them.. i got to stand strong.. i cannot waste my time..

It is perhaps lucky that i did not have a boyfrenz.. whahaa.. cant imagine if i really have one... what would i have become... haha

Rite now.. i think i have put my frenz as my piriority not my school work. haha...

My life during holidays isn't feeling good at all... sian...

It's holiday and i've got so much to do.. i really cannot take it anymore... i really wan to run away from all the problems.. But i jus left with 2 months...

I really dunnoe what to do..

Really feel like not living anymore...

Life has been a misery to me.. too much probs to face.. i really lost in dealing with it...

Living a life full of probs, is just like killing me mentally...

Finally i submitted my lab report... n in 15 more days i would need to submit my pp...

I nv go sch again... I think i noe how i can wake up on time and go sch every.. is to slp at 11 every nite.. lol.. i realise i have a standard slping time.. i must at least slp 6 hrs den i will automatically wake up even without an alarm clock..

When ever i slept at 1 i will wake up at 8... den recently actually wanted to slp a few hrs den wake up and do report de.. but went to slp after a few hrs n dun feel like getting up and do my work.. so slp till the morning lo.. den woke up without an alarm clock.. hehe.. so now i must start slping at 11 the latest..

I'm forming a band soon.. hahaha... Now we have a Drummer (Gerald), keyboardist (Grace), a Bassist that's me.. lack of a Vocalist and a Lead Guitarist.. so cool.. cant wait lo.. lol.. It all thanks to Grace who initiated it.. lol..

Previously..

I wrote a very long blog... but forgot to publish it.. den in the morning shut down the laptop without publishing.. sian diao la.. whahha..

Jus now.. on the train back to home.. slept in the train and drop at city hall instead of douby ghaut... was thinking whether to take to marina bay den back to douby ghaut or take the opp train to bugis then take bus home.. so jus went out of the train and took to bugis.. supposely to buy bread at cold storage.. but such a long queue and a big store lazy to walk ard.. den bought a honey milk tea outside cold storage... thinking of if cannot find a bread shop den dun buy.. hehe cos wanted to buy from four leave but quite ex.. and my sis alway finish the bread so fast.. anyway went out of bugis junction, cross the road to the opp to buy bread at 7-11.. den cross another road to take bus home.. waited for the bus for quite some time.. the 1st bus which came was 145... dun wan to take tat becos it drop at the other bus stop which i have to walk quite far.. so waited for 130 lo .. actually i dun like to take bus lo.. alway so squeezy... hai.. want to stand also no space to stand la.. den the people ar.. cannot ta han sia.. i think mrt better.. although also the same alot of people but at least you dun have to find a pole to hold on to.. cos mrt is more stable than bus.. especially at the turning point..

Actually can reach home by 7.15 end up reaching home at 7.45... lol.. i think if i had gone back to douby ghaut rite.. might reach home by 7.15 lo..

Distracted from doing my work....
There is so many distraction... TV la, and other things.. hai.. dunnoe how to do work.. i think i like to do work in the morning cos my sis wun be watching tv, and everyone out for work or study... lol.. den can concentrate better..

going to do my lab report.. submitting tml.. sian diao lo.. haven finish yet wor.. so many things to do lo..

Went out with Yamaha frenz on monday nite.. so cool.. actually only ask the people at our side only.. den KB, noe some of the staff at combo (Guitar side) so ask them along too... hum.. didnt noe they are also a brunch of fun people.. they look so dao and scary.. whahah...

Went to eat at Cafe Cartel.. den went to play pool till 1.30am.. den go eat prata.. while we (they, except me, kai lin, n grace didnt play) were playing pool, some frenz of Gerald walked pass so they join us.. while didnt noe them at all... but they are friendly.. they are... Adam from Yamaha too, Simon (ex Yamaha, lol..), Lawrence (some shop owner i think) hehe... Pool at Parklane, prata at opp fortune center i think, ard bugis area.. near nafa.. went home at 3 like dat.. whahaha.. got a free ride home.. hehe.. think that's the benefit of staying near town.. Simon's dad gave us (lawrence n me) a ride home.. hehe.. lawrence stay at AMK, simon stay at punggol.. whaha.. i find myself talking like one small kid sia.. lol..

Anyway the Yamaha people that went out that nite were... me, Kai Lin, Grace, Khoo Boon, Chrislyn, Gerald, Jaryl n Chew Fung (e last two only had their dinner with us at cartel)...

Reach home.. nothing to do.. sian.. haha..

I decided to take up Degree in Sociology.. whahaha.. i better not tell any of my frenz yet.. later they said i keep changing my mind de.. lol.. maybe a few months later i change again.. but hopefully won't la.. hehe..

i broke my promises today... Yest jus learn about not looking back.. while today i jus did something which i really really shouldn't do...

I said that i want to be vegetarian yet i didnt keep to my promise.. i tot that maybe i should just cut down only on the land animals first before going to cut off my meal for sea animal... they are all animals...

Went to eat with my frenz at ljs... cos didnt wan to tell her i'm vegetarian, so i tot that i can have fish instead of chicken... so right after eating, i had a really bad stomach ache.. had a really bad diarrhea... everything that i ate before all come out..

At first was thinking if something bad will happen to me.. and it really did.. you know that you had made a promise with God and you still want to play ard n tot that those are just empty promises... I think you are wrong.. He really listen to every little things you said.. After 5 days of Vegetarianism n i broke my promise, He really give me a wake up call... Now I am serious about what i said n nv going to look back again.. Being a Vegetarian is what i promised n i nv going to broke this promise...

Didnt go sch today... sian la.. alway this module that i didnt go sch... 5 times le.. haha.. the other two modules still ok lo... Anyway.. just try to slp early everynite ba..

Gifts i've got from my frenz from A to Z.. haha

1 Adidas Jacket
1 Angel Statue with My Month de Blessing
1 Black Dress
1 Calender very nice
1 Creative MP3
1 Duckie Soft Toy
1 Godiva Chocolate
1 Key Chain of a Key Shape
1 Memorable Photo Album
1 Skirt
1 Solo Guitar Book
1 Watches
1 Yamaha Keyboard Club Voucher
2 Bouquets of Flowers
2 CDs
2 Perfume - Adidas, Anna Sui (Secret Wish)
4 Liquor - 2Wine/1Champane/1Spakling Juice (Non-Alcholic)
4 Necklaces
5 Birthday Cards
7 Books
And most importantly numbers of tens of friend's presence, blessing, wishes that you guys have given me.

That's all about it.. Don't think i have miss out anything..

Thanks you guys for all the presents I had received.

It takes at least 17 kg of corn, beans, grains etc., many gallons of water, and some time to produce just 1 kg of beef. The 17 kg of corn, beans, and grains would feed at least 20 people while the 1 kg of beef would feed at most 2 people.

Does it makes any sense to feed an animal 17 kg of vegetation, many gallons of water, provide shelter, allow some time, and then cut it’s throat and kill it to produce 1 kg of meat?

Would it be better just to take the 17 kg of vegetation and feed on it directly rather than having it go through an animal and then feeding on the animal a much reduced quantity of food?

About 70% of the crops grown in the US are fed to animals and not to humans. The mentality is that convert 17 kg of vegetarian food into 1 kg of meat so that at most 2 people can eat instead of at least 20. Also there is the thrill of killing the animals, which is very much liked by the followers of the non-Vedic religions.

Would God want man to turn 17 kg of vegetarian food into 1 kg of non-vegetarian food (meat).

Annually, the U.S. food industry slaughters approximately 10 billion farmed animals

Gotten from some website.. If only like 30% of the people turn to vegetarian or reduce the intake on meat.. how much animals we can save.. it's Billions..

I'm thinking of becoming a Vegetarian... This thoughts have been bothering me for more than a year... Tot for very long, but dun have e wills/motivation to do so... I guess i should slowly start changing my habit of eating...

Not sure why... i jus wanted to be cos i really like animal alot... Everyday when i eat, tot of eating those meat make me think of those cute animal, how they are killed... Everytime felt like leaving them aside, but I'm not those kind of people who waste food, and i dun wan my frenz to question me cos i dun noe what to answer them... But now i know..

I think I'm ready to give up the rest of the food that's so tempting to my eyes... Not sure am I strong enough to do it...

I trying to start tml. so fast rite.. haha.. Take down the date... 30/10/06...

Let me be the Vegetarian Christian... lol..

I going to be 2 mths soon.. 4/11/06...

My 21st Birthday Celebration...

I had a wonderful 21st birthday.. i'm really happy and glad that i can celebrate it with my frenz.. really enjoy myself...

I almost got sabo.. and lucky i didnt. cos i switch on my awareness... whahaha.. almost got thrown into the water a few times la.. but didnt get me into water.. lol..

Failure to Saboing me.. whahaha..
1st - Sam wanted to help me do facial with my mango cake... i spotted him for a few times lo.. den there's once he almost got the cake on my face, lucky the cake drop on the floor.. lol.. nobody help him, i think if all of them help him rite i sure kena one lo...

2nd - During photo taking with the band. Stan, trying to get hold of me when celine was taking photo, but i kept my eye on him. lol.. as soon as celine finish taking i took my leave. At first they wanted me to sit in the center de lo.. but i insisted i dun wan.. haha..

3rd - This was when most of my friends had left.. Those people who are behind are my Band Members and some other friends and my sis.. So they got me near the pool already lo.. but i dunnoe why nv throw me down.. very lucky lo.. haha.. actually i think they very stupid.. haha..

actually there are many senarios lo.. where they trying to sabo me but i ran away... bleh...
Try harder ok...

Joanie Lost her Camera... Adrian Lost his PDA n Harddisk... I really felt bad about it... Why this got to happen? Went back today to check if anything was found, but nothing has been found. I'm going to try to ask again tml hoping that the person who took it would somehow return, but that's not alway the case.. I really felt that i should went back during that night but i didnt. Not sure if I would have gone back to search something might have been found.. Because that place close at 1am, but i didnt know... Pray hard that everything will be return to it's owner...

I want to give Thanks to all my friends who've came down to my 21st Birthday on 28th Oct (actual day was 25th Oct) and thanks to the blessing they gave me, also to the present they gave me, not forgeting those who are not here but their presence are there with me. I know you guys wanted to come but there are alway something more important than my birthday.. hehe.. N Thanks you guys for having a thought for me.. Also to those who had a hard time trying to sabo me... e Way to Success is Failure... whaha.. May happiness be with you always, and God will Blessed you guys.







When there is happiness, saddness will come in too..

I'm pretty sad with my mum... She has been nagging at me since yesterday... It's my birthday lo.. can't you be more understanding towards me.. and stop nagging me with what ever you can thought of... esp the Money parts.. i really hate to talk about money... i really hate money..

I nv ask a cent from you nor my dad for my Party... i spent everything on my own what else you want me to do? I'm happy only for this once, it's not like i going to have another party soon.. N u didnt know i'm turning 21 this year.. How sad to know this.. I broke down in tears, i'm really sad with you.. so disappointed..

I hate to call you, cos i noe you will alway mention things that i don't like. If not becos of me forgetting my key i will nv want to call you, n i didnt save my dad new no, and my bro new no. But anyway nobody at home, i should have waited perhaps..

But you know no matter how much you had hurt me, no matter how bad you scold me, treat me (used to be) , nag at me i can never be mad at you cos i know you are my mum and i alway love you although i really hated you at times...

But remembering you as my Mum, no matter what you do i will nv abandon you, cos i got to Forgive you as how He forgive us. I felt a relieve whenever i think of Him, who will alway be there, at least me...

No matter how bad this Family turns to (but i think things are getting better), I know for sure that I will nv want to leave my family members (I used to think about getting away from this Family becos of my Mum, and how i wish i could have a better Mum, but not now). But my Dad who really love me of alot cos not forgetting my sibling (but he love me more) alway makes me think otherwise..

I really love my Parents, my Sister and my Brother alot, like there is no tml.. Treasure Your Family ba...

Thanks You God, that you alway be there for us...

Didnt know the time pass so fast... awhile ago it was 12.30am.. and now.. 2.30.. i spent 2 hrs.. hahaha..

Though i skipped school again today, while it was of good used.. and i pretty glad that i make full used of Yesterday and today... my time was so pack...

Finally.. everything of RPWS going to be over for me soon... really glad.. for the rest of the few months i going to really buck up on my studies... cannot make it ar.. lol..

Tml is my birthday celebration and i don't feel anything abt it.. not sure why.. hahaha.. The time past so fast that i could't even catch up and take a breath... a month ago was jus like a few days ago.. i remembering myself giving out invitation cards and so on.. it was just like a week ago which in actual facts it has been one month.. gosh...

He gave me the gifts, loves, strength, teaching, guiding and everything he could afford to give it to me graciously, without hesitation... That's Him... How glad i should feel that i have met you.. There's nothing which can explained... I wonder, wonder and wonder... How much more, there is no limit...

E life without you... what else could have happen?

I going to slp.. nite..

Identity Crisis...

Hai..

Stress.... dunnoe whether should i tell my parents...

What should i do? I only noe one thing... Leave it to God...

My Birthday coming in 2 hrs time..
I already got 2 gifts.. haha..
Thanks to all my Frenz out there..

My Frenz jus remind me today.. what's my birthday resolution.. i don't know yet wor.. haha.. I'm too happy now to think abt it..

Why is it that your Birthday makes you happy? so weird rite.. it's nothing special too.. it jus a normal day only ma.. hum.. It's just human reponse.. whaha.. psychology..

My Birthday coming in two more days.. but celebrating on 28th Oct.... pounding on what to get?

Whahaha....
My Birthday List.. lol...
I think some of my frenz getting me some animals.. dunnoe yet... lol.. cos i told them i wan guinea pig... cute rite.. lol..
Hum.. Kai Lin bought me a scores (solo guitar de) really happy.. i was waiting for that book for quite some time le..
Some people buying me bags i guess.
How abt yamaha keyboard club voucher for 5 lessons de.
Dun buy me perfume, i think i dun wan necklace too... lol..
hoping to get a cheap guitar with picture and writing on it so that i can keep from guitar club, but not likely i guess, cos i haven tell them yet... whhahaa...
haven got anyone to buy me watch yet.
how about polo t-shirt, knee length shorts, nice nice belt (but i guess i will put it there and wun wear it), wallet, books, (dun buy fiction books), CDs also can (i wan William Su Yong Kang one, i'm collecting his series)?
IT stuff? mp3, anyone wan to buy me HP.. lol...?
Gov Diva chocolate (dunnoe how to spell) at city link there got one.
how abt a big big bear.. but what can i do with it? whahaha...
you can buy liquor too.. but dun drunk me.. i will keep it.
Want to buy cakes also can, cos i didnt order a very big cake, as advice by my frenz and my sis.. lol... both are gemini.. lol.. but i guess you guys will play with cakes onli.. so dun waste money ok.. whhaa..
Anyway i can't think of other things i wan liao.. if can't get any present jus come ok... I would be happy to see you empty handed too...

Well c u guys on 28th Oct, Civil Service Club near Farrer Park MRT station (Exit B, i think), it's a five minutes walk from MRT (if you walk slower will be longer la, dunnoe how fast you guys walk too). Ard 7pm, cutting my cake at 8 ba.. hehe :D