hum.. u change no nv tell me.. whahaha.. so sad. felt so stupid la.. keep msgin ur old number... bleh...

anyway if i change number i also dun bother to tell people.. hehe.. cos i'm jus being lazy. only when people ask then i give. haha... anyway i also change number.. actually not really change la.. jus that i'm lazy to pay my bill.. den accumulated to alot.. den being cancel i think, nv bother to check cos i got another free line which left there nobody use it.. then i take and use lo.. whaha. i not sure abt the number also.. haha i cant remember..

so happy to c you today... you just make my day brighter without even saying a word.
nice hair style.. hehe... going to have a hair cut soon and dye my hair to some reasonable color.. lol..


Yesterday in band...
it wasn't that bad as tue... however there is still problem here and there... hai... why is it so hard to keep a organisation working together peacefully.. anyway i'm glad about the attendance... and glad that GLosz came... he really make a difference in band when he comes... but then how CM and ACM were not there yesterday.. then ming cong conduct.. whaha i did conduct one piece.. keltic dance.. KNS... I realise a big big difference in conducting guitar and band.. whaha.. there is too many part in band that i couldn't concentrate... whaha..
anyway it was fun.. and it's like we play so many different pieces but glosz still not here yet..
anyway i think glosz was quite upset with the pieces we play... cos he said we did not have sectional at all... well... there it goes... haha tue again..
Define what's sectional? lol..

anyway we have band till 9.15pm... we nv have band till this late before.. like after ming cong finish talking everyone rush out of band room.. wat kind of attitude sia.. whaha.. anyway it's really late la.. every rushing home for rj and all...
band ended late nvm...
we went to eat at the prata shop, eat and stay there to talk till 11.30pm ++.. it's our last time we are going there... hai.. i going to miss it... i going to miss everything..
at the train station.. i scare if i drop at outram i will miss my train... so i rather take to lavender and took bus back.. i was really hoping there will is bus for me to take home cos it was rather late liao.. when i reach the bus stop is ard 12 pm le.. den wait abt 15 mins lo.. at that time i was quite scare la... cos i nv took bus from there so late before.. if it's at orchard i dun mind but some places with uncle and indian workers ard... then i msg someone.. but got no reply from him.. whaha..
actually long ago i suspected that he change his hp no.. but didnt ask la.. hehe.. till today.. : p
quite happy when the bus finally came.. hehe.. reach home faster do rj and talk to someone.. hai... damm sian la.. sickening problem and all.. why all problem cannot be solve... one come after another.. headache leh.. i dun wan to care so much anymore.. jus too tired too tired..
jus doing the admin work alone take up so much energy and problem kept coming... aiyo..
nvm la.. i keep forgeting wat to do la.. too much things to do le.. PX and Stan how did you guys manage!!! kill me pls.. whahaha

anyway this two days my mood very good cos holiday coming... whahaha.. : p

it seems like... in a far distance without a word spoken to each other. we have thoughts that ans each other...

i'm damm bored rite now.. i got nothing to do. i dont feel like doing rj rite now.. everyone not in sch... hai.. coming to sch during the last week is damm bored cos everyone tends to pon classes...

i'm damm scare that later what will happen... i hope it would be better than tue... what if mr glosz see the same number of people coming for band on tue..






wo heng xiang geng ni zai yi qi... ni neng zuo dao ma?
gu shi neng xie chu jue ju ma?

i still feel your presence...

我好想你。。。
How I wish I could be by ur side yesterday. I’m feel much better if you were here...
I was thinking if it's possible? 我好想再问你一次 可是，我觉得是不可能. 你会告是我吗？但是， 现在已今每关系了... 我麻木了...

Will we be together again? 我好喜欢你. another chance for us again?

let me pray hard, one day i'll share your burden and you shall share mine...

i will nt act foolish anymore... ru guo..zhe shi zheng de jiu hao.

na wo zi xiang dui ni shou sarang haeyo...

Band today...

Today isn't a very good band day... damm sian... my day was quite good and all. then come to band i super sian.. becos everyone tell me this person not coming that person not coming... hai... it really affect me alot. having listening to all the reason, i'm sick of it le... i couldn't be bother with the reason anymore, cos everyone has their reason. and i think about half the band members didn't come for band because their frenz or one of the members in the section didn't come.. I can name who were there... i think the people there add up to ard 15 or less. more than half of the band didnt come how to carry on with practise.
decided to sent a msg. i got some unhappy reply... everyone is unhappy with each other... if you guys would have come to band would there be so much problem. will everyone be unhappy, will i be sending out message and agitate you guys? i think is very unfair to those who came and couldn't do anything... becos many were not there... the number of people here today was jus like those people who came to band on friday.. how would i be able to control my feeling any longer... i know i'm harsh and all... to think about it. i guess i should. i'm really upset abt those reply i got. couldn't believe that i actually cried... i really had a headache after all the message bombing at me. at that time i really couldn't take it anymore.. i couldn't take the stress.
all the way from after those message sent to me to where we walk to the prata shop, the pain is killing me in my head, however i feel much better after talking at the prata shop.
Thanks for all the comfort the people at prata shop gave to me...
would anyone tot about how i feel?
Seriosly, has anyone really devoted to band.maybe some of you are but not all.
well i should have predicted lot of people not coming? would i be? maybe i do but is more than half of the band members, would i be able to take it? i've so many people telling me different reasons, how can i remember, how can i tell which is real and which is not? how am i suppose to understand each and every one problem. I'm not a god. i'm jus some human being with feelings. a leader with hopes on members, who thinks people will come. one of you nv come really makes alot of differences, you think i dont know. i jus dont show it. i guess i have put too much feelin in band.. perhap the feeling i put into were too much which causes me to sent a message without much thinking what will happen. do i have to think every time i do something. i'm seriously tired about all the thinking.. why should i alway think before i said something, and people can just say anything without much thinking. alway mans make mistake, can't mistake be forgiven? i dun wan to think anymore... hasn't i think enough. think of chalet, think of games, think of food, think of events.. and so on... so much so much for me to think... i dun wan to say anymore...


Okay let me talk abt my class today... hehe.. i came to sch at 930am... den... erm.. do research.. till 1030am.. then had lunch with fac at wheelock place fish and co... i didnt ate much. jus ate tiramisu.. but doesnt taste nice at all... actually suppose to have 3rd meetin at 1230. but some news came abt saying some head are going ard to check if the facilitators release the class early.. so we got to have our 3rd meeting at 2 lo.. so at ard 1pm we leave the class to have our lunch.. return back to class at 2 plus.. with the fac.. whahah... so when the fac enter the class straight away 6th p liao.. after 6th p i went to toilet right away.. had diarrhea.. think must be becos of the milk i drank in the morning... the last time i drank milk also like dat.. it wasn't so bad till recently... last time i used to have HL milk in the morning but nothing happen.. mayb too long nv drink liao.. lol..


Day started good but ended badly... i'm still upset..

elaine and me de pic... :p

boring day.... hai.. dunnoe find what pathway mapping.. KNS.. i dunnoe what i doing also.. hard to find it online.. damm boring.. whahha.. anyway i didnt regret it la.. jus slack lo... later got band...
Hum.. yest i come to sch quite sad la.. cos the person i wan to see nv come sch.. den i sian 1/2 liao... anyway we ended sch at 12 plus.. so i reach home at 1... hehe quite happy la.. come sch for awhile onli.. from 10 plus to 12.. go home watch my corpse bride.. quite sad lo.. i tot that guy will be together with the corpse bride then the ending like erm.. not nice de.. whaha..
first rite.. that guy 'Victor' was getting married with 'Victoria'.. dunnoe why the name like dat.. whaha. but at the wedding day itself.. Victor couldn't memorise his speech.. so the wedding was cancel.. the wedding doesn't goes on smoothly... so victor went to some places no idea where was it.. cos that movie i had wasn't really clear. seem like i'm watching black and white movie.. whhahah.. then he recite his speech there... as he recite, he act out the scenario that going to happen that day.. so there is one part where he was suppose to take out his ring and put it on the bride hand... and he did that. he tot that corpse bride hand was suppose to be a tree branch or something.. then blah blah... in the end.. the corpse bride left cos she say Victor wasn't suppose to be with her. the bride should be Victoria... so Victoria came in... after dat the corpse bride became many butterfly.. KNS... i hate this kind of show... whhaha.. at first they was suppose to be together.. then many conflict come in and in the end they are still together.. hai..

after watching i went to slp till seven eight like dat... den do RJ.. den play maple till 12 plus... whahha.. then one plus slp le..

tis cute little girl

while i was walking home, my usual journey from train station to my home. lazy to climb stair so walk on the opposite pathway which i can take lift. hehe

after walking about five minutes which is after a long pathment of one block.
i heard footstep running.. hehe.. a cute little run to my side slightly infront of me.. hehe. she turn and smile to me.. then she continue walking at the same speed with me... after awhile she ask me 'where i live?' i was like am i suppose to start talking first. she is so brave... talk to someone who she don't even know. so i started talking to her lo.. she's so kawai ne... she even told me where she live. den we chat chat chat lo.. until where i suppose to cross the road of the carpark then she stop. hehe she wanted to wait for her mum.. but when we turn back rite we couldn't see her mum. hehe she was walking outside the pathway... i wait awhile then i go le.. hehe.. after awhile i hear her shouting 'jie jie' in hokkien.. so cute... she was like quite far away from me when she call me. hehe i wave to her..
i like noisy, naughty, playful kids. cos i'm just the opposite.. whaha.. i like boys better because they are more cute.. but this girl is so cute that i like her so much more than boys.. hehe..
however i hated those naughty boys at borders.. they are so terrible, anyhow throw books and run away... i even seen torn book before lo.. i wondering how could their mother not care about them and left them here...

ok...
let me talk abt my day today ba.. lol..
today i woke up late purposely.. whaha.. i very lazy to wake up la.. actually can reach sch on time de la... jus dun wan to wake up nia.. then.. i reach sch ard 10.45am. when i board the train at outram park i saw Terrence, haha.. wanted to walk to school at first. but i'm really lazy la.. so i ask if wan to share cab ma lo... lol
today is super slack day la.. i jus reach the class then Nacha come le, for second meeting. then i didnt talk much la cos i dun noe anything yet ma.. jus noe today is abt probiotic. lol. so after she came to discuss with us. i do some research, for like till 11.30 or wat can't remember. i finish my work liao... hehe then elaine and ying ying come to class. went down together to have lunch. then watch the RP Idol.. i was supporting Hafiz.. he's cool man.. whaha.. but so sad he chose the wrong song to sing.. however it's nice. hehe.. if only he can support his low voice.. maybe he will get a chance to be first instead of second. i was cheering for him till my throat dries up.. lol.. stay till 12.45 like dat. i went back to class cos 3rd meeting at 1pm. but nacha not here at 1 yet.. then slack ard arrange our ppt nicely... we are the second team to present.. so our 3rd meeting end at 2.30 like dat. before that i ask elaine and ying ying to wait for me. then she said they will wait for us at audio room. i don't know where is that.. first thing that came to my mind was the library second floor where we can watch movies and play games there. i went up there but see no one... went up and down to search for them.. call elaine and ying ying a few times but nv pick up my call.. haha cos they already left sch in the bus le.. whaha... then i meet them at orchard lo.. ying ying leaving us without shopping with us.. haha.. so elaine and me go shopping lo... dun intend to buy any thing de lor.. end up buying one long sleeve T-shirt and elaine bought two long sleeves t-shirt. after shopping i went back to band.. but do nothing there... slacking ard.. actually tot of going guitar.. but i'm seriously lazy... i even lazy to take up my clarinet to play liao.. whahaha.. then stone there for quite sometime before i decide to take out my laptop to do RJ. was about 7pm when i on my lappy. do rj listen song. supposedly daniel was to help shee rui take out the tuba to play, then shee rui went to wash mouth piece daniel start playing willie tuba liao.. then shee rui come back cannot play tuba, so she played euphonium instead. they all very funny la... today is slack slack one, we stay till like 8.30 they still dun wan to pack up.. usual practise we left before 8.30 lo.. then went to eat prata at the same place.. reach home my dad cook for me to eat again.. now still eating.. aiyo.. eat so much..

i was thinking....... bleh..

slppy.. tml still need to wake up early.. got work.. hai.. sian...

Try this when free...

http://www.anodeetcathode.net/jeux/

what an encounter!

while today everything look fine...
from my work to home...
and then..
from home to library something happen... i'm so scare la... for being approach by a guy, who isn't singaporean, and who isn't anyone white... i din't noe i was being followed by someone... it's a very scary experience. luckily it's not somewhere wu lu where no people is around...
he's a black american guy, wanted to be friend with me.. i'm wondering why... do i look like those girl that black guys like? it's not the first time i encounter this..
it's really scary that you just left your house like five minutes, and someone follow you from the road across your house to the bus stop... then near the bridge... he ask me something which i pretend that i didn't hear anything.. after that he tried again.. asking if i'm in a hurry, of cos i said yes la.. he's very annoying... they so open with thick skin... and he said something 'do singaporean don't like making friends...' i think they are scare.. lol... trying numerous time to answer him something that will make him stop asking question.. but he doesn't stop.. and now he ask mi for my number which i didnt give.. and he's like.. wanted me to give la.. he said " is either you give me your number or i follow you to the library". i was like WTH.. and i said NO of cos.. i told him that i don't wan to give you my number and dun wan you to follow me.. erm.. it kind of like a long discussion.. finally.. he said.. can i give you my number.. i said can la... take his number only ma.. then blah blah blah... then he was saying.. do u noe that i follow you from from somewhere to here just becos of you... i said really? i don't noe.. sorry abt it.. then i walk off le..
gosh... i'm alway scare of black guy i don't why.. they look more scarier than anyone else.. and so unlucky that it's alway the black guy who approach me... then at the bus stop the bus came just in time.. and i saw him crossing back the bridge..

at the library.. i tot i couldn't find any book.. and i was so shock that i didn't see the book i wanted on shelf.. becos the library got so many differect section with the same number... i was like why they make it this way so confusing... haha then i went to the info counter ask the lady where i can find this book la.. i was pointing to the other direction when she ask where i find the book. den she told me is at the other side... so i went over to the other side.. saw the same number but still cannot find the book... kind of upset... so i walk ard.. then i'm so lucky that i jus happen to see a book on herbs lying at the side of the shelf. i wonder maybe the book is here, checking on the shelf number again... i was so happy that i actually find that shelf by luck.. whahah. at first i chose to ignore it, then i think aiya go take a look la... lucky i didnt ignore it.
so that tell me something that i'm right.
Ignorance shouldn't be the word in me... whahaha.

hum... not sure why wor.. i'll still think of you.. but then i don't feel anything for u le.. it doesn't matter anyway... if one day you were to come back, i will still accept ba.. cos i'm a very yi xin yi yi de ren(got this chi yu ma haha, should be chuan yi rite)... whahaha.. then at that time i think will erm.. shouldn't tell u... : p must pass ur driving test. not oly tat la. erm.. do good in everything.. yeah!

Let's put an end...

i have no idea whether i'm rite or wrong...
what's the problem here.... it's not anything big... why people can't just be simple and all... why do they have to make such an small thing to something big...

if only i had kept my mouth shut... and if only every kept their mouth shut... hai..

though it might not involve me... well... i simple feel it is really my fault... i'm really upset abt myself. for making things big...

why can't people give way to each other, have u heard of once bitten twice shy. once is enough why do you have to say it the second time... and you dun jus hurt ones' feeling but this time two.

while it might be what you felt, but then again. did you ever reflect about what you have done? you might not be aware who are those you will hurt.
i dun see a different between what the both of you said. at first A said B shouldn't have said those word. after that B noe abt it, to make thing worse this person C said something which A shouldn't even be told. blame on the itchy mouth. then again A said something even worse. dun you think A is the same as B both of them said something that shouldn't be said to the public. while though is in different way, however message can be deliver to the respective person.

now whoes fault is it this time. C feel that it's her fault, if only she kept her mouth shut... nothing worse will come...
Okay.... i think if only each of you give way to each other, and trying not to say words that hurts.. it would be fine rite.. how i wish i can be either one of you so that i will give way.. can i apologise on behalf of both of you.. can you guys drop it, put an end to it.. Let bygones be bygones... can pretend nothing has happen.. further more its quite long le, don't let it drag anymore... i don't wan both of you to be hurt by each other. pls give me peace...

Comment me..

Hey frenz

feel free to comment abt me ya... thanks.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Melyn

realise that i didnt blog for very very long time liao.. hehe. busy with stuff or wat, erm.. not too sure...
But is mostly due to my blog has change... lol.. cos i wanted to create my own blog.. but end up deleting it without saving.. wth.. lol. so i'm lazy to do it all over again, must well get blog skin from some other people.. lol.. much more easier..

jus givin myself a break from studying my very last UT of the year.. hehe.. i'm so happy that last UT finally come, and i going to year 3 soon.. i hope to get it over soon..

well.. another thing is that i got a FYP project le.. i'm so happy.. i got it fast enough... nv tot it would be so soon, our grp was still thinking what project to do few weeks ago. then we saw a mail, so went down to library for a briefing, that fac couldn't decided which grp to choose cos too many grp came down that day. so he ask us to sent a email to him saying what we have done about planting before.. so we were all bullshitting, and some copy and paste note from web.. that's how we got it, whahah...

still got exactly 2 weeks, but 7 days of schooling to sch holiday.. looking forward to it.. hehe.

hum.. one more thing, i finally think i get over it liao.. but i'm not too sure yet. :) maybe i got tired of it le.. hehe. or maybe i know what i wan? lol...
Hope you pass ur driving lesson soon. good luck to ya..
the feeling is not that strong but it's still there... there will still be space for ya.

Ya.. just now looking for drink... saw a few pack of milk, so i tot i can overcome the taste of milk already.. then i went to take a slip.. well it's still sucks... i dun understand why some people can take the taste of milk, does it taste really different in the mouth of different people? pondering...

Hum... jus realise that i had been sick for 3 times in 4 months.
not jus normal kind of sickness, first time was very very serious, then the other time was having flu, now having sore throat at first, then flu + cough... have been sick since rp open house second day... till now.. not recover yet... how sia..

I'm Sick le...

Flu... sore throat... it seems getting worse rather then better... hai...

i really can feel how ying2 felt.. haha... she is now over the moon le...

wow.. i feel so happy for u.. after so long, and you finally gets what you want... must treasure ok... good lucks to you guys.
cannot concentrate so much on other side and neglect study ok..

why god alway gave mi surprises that is so unpredictable, and when i'm totally unprepared for it... human nv understand god's thinking...
it's alway when i'd given up my hope upon somethings, i given up my hope becos i had tried hard enough and to no avail, then that something that i hope for, came so sudden that i couldn't believe it and unable to take that shock.

It's good that i actually get part of the things i wan...

Hai...

it hurt me... it nv going to be the same again... once it changes, second, third times and so on will changes forever n ever...


__________________________________

two person said to me that...

i commit myself too much on other stuff and neglect them, do i really?

i tried to commit myself to every things that i loved, however i need to priortize which one come first, it alway happen like this, so that when it's time for me to choose i can decide fast and wouldn't be that terrible...
In life the most difficult things to learnt is to give up, and learnt to accept it. in which ever aspect of life, giving up comes in very often... hai...
it's not time to give up yet, however i hope no force come into me, i dun like being force, as i will act without thinking...

I saw a book name 'why customer do they thing they do?'. is quite interesting... haha same as why i wan to do the things i do?
i do things with reason(s), rarely i do without reason.
Now, i'm learning to accept what people wants, i won't force anymore. you want to do this rite go ahead then, i wun do things to change ur mind, i tried too hard getting the things i wan, and i end up each time with sadness. Many time i almost tears, especially someone who i have high hope on... tot that they wouldn't upset mi, but in the end, they wan their way still. ok i respect you by giving you wat you wan. jus hoping that, they still respect me by doing at least 1/3 of wat i ask for, i'll be glad.
i understand dat not everyone is alike, and they don't think alike. jus give and takes.
if i wan it the way i wan, and people jus dun agree to it, it either i give in or i do all the things... that's the way... if the things must go like this, and no one willing to work, well i take all the job then, i guess this is wat many people need to learnt... and it's the hardest amoung all.. cos not everyone wans to take everything, usually they just give up...
for me choosing to give up, is my very very last resort. cos i hate failure, regrets, and nv even try it but choose to give up...



i think i should go learnt psychology instead of science haha..

my uncle pass away... jus got a message from my dad..
it's so sudden.. life is so unpredictable... e last time i saw him was like last CNY, dun even noe i saw him or not... hai... maybe even before CNY which was when my grandma pass away... i still remember it well. it's on april fool, jus before i enter my poly... so on every april fool i wun even think of making of fun of others cos it's ain't anything fun to me at all... last year grandma pass away for one yr le.. now three more month and it's going to be 2 yrs le.. life pass so fast i dun even remember it's one or two yr le...
as i grow older... i'm more afraid, not afraid of dying but afraid that my relative, grand parents and parents pass away. i dun wan that to happen... hai.. that's how life sucks.. when one by one left u... and eventually u left.. it's an non ending thing...

Feeling bad recently...

hai.. not sure why... haha.. i alway not sure de...
i feel that i'm perfectly normal, but i don't feel good at all...
it just weird that i dun feel like eating since sch start... i have no appetite at all. and it shouldn't happen to me... cos i love food alot... so much that i couldn't control myself not to eat... the only time i felt hungy is during morning when i just reach sch... then for the rest of the day i dun feel hungry at all, maybe i do feel hungry but i got no mood to eat too... hai...
am i under stress? or am i having depression? (not possible ba)
so far i only eat in sch for the three times (proper meal) inclusive of lunch and dinner... and i dun eat when i reach home lor... actually is ok la.. attended sch for e past three days only.. haha.. jus that one day i onli take one meal.. which is not very normal...

Have i given up everything and just wan to focus on study and band... if it is.. it's very serious...
is just equivalent to i'm crazy le...
what i know now is that my mind is very clear now... i noe what i wan to do, and what i should do... could i be focusing so much that i jus forgot about every other things...

Working at borders

Working on the first day of the year...

while... was quite slack in the morning... the crowd started coming in the afternoon and people keep coming in, queuing non stop, line getting longer...

at a point of time when there wasn't any queue...
a customer came in... telling mi a boy lost his mum... asked if i can help the boy... of cos i have to... i went over.. the boy kept crying and crying...
i asked what's his mum name... he cried.. trying again asking his name... again he cried.. i not sure wat to do lor... hahaha... feel very sad for him... the way he cried made mi wanted to cry to... luckily his maid saw him... so i dun really have to anything... hehe...

wonder wat will happen when i have children... the kid will alway cry de... haha... by that time, there will be someone to take care of kid in times like this ba.. lol... : p so let him take care ba...

went to esplanade...

wanted to meet sherline and ming cong at esplanade there de... i went there after my work abt 10 plus... they were working till 1 am lor... anyway i went to find sherline.. but i couldn't find her... and very hard to reach her also.. hehe

as i walk on.. i'm feeling hungry.. and hungry, and very hungry.. so went to find food.. after i got my food le.. i try to call her again but cannot le.. cos i think got network prob.. however manage to get ming cong.. haha he was stuck at esplanade also.. while i was stuck beside a traffic light.. didnt wan to move cos either way there were too much people... the position where i was waiting for the fireworks was just nice (it's a nice spot to rest, not to catch a fireworks)... haha when it started... i could only c like half of the entire fireworks.. am happy enough la.. couldn't be bother to move around also.. too tired le.. haha

after it finished.. i was thinking whether i should move or stay there.. not sure why i just sat there for quite sometime that i decided to move.. at first tot of taking bac home.. anyway i wasn't thinking when i started walking... all i could care abt is get to the mrt and decide later... hahah.. while it wasn't that bad.. still got more then enough space for mi to stand... haha anyway it is only a few stops... hehe...

anybody i saw... yep... my fren's bro.. haha.. that's it.. haha.. so tired.. going to get a quick bath and go slp le.. later working in the morning. got to wake up at 6 30 like dat.. haha

Happy New Year...

my new year resolution...
last few nights i think of alot.. but now i all forgot le.. haha...