Done with my things at 2.39am...Slp time...Nite.

Sian... tired... jus got back home... after long hrs of guitars... hum... wasn't learning anything from there recently... went to dinner with jon, YZ, wei lun and joanne... while the others went to red hill market to eat... actually was joining them but then... hum... deli dey li... haha.. so was quite far away from them le, must well join jon they all rite? hum.. bitching abt people in club... hu dun like hu, and say wat ever we feel in the club there... hahaha... while... ok la... lucky finish my rj in sch...

yeah JY you are right... i planning to take a week off from all the igs... dunnoe why leh i jus feel so tired... keep waking up late for lesson... i'm late again today... sad leh.. lucky the fac quite good.. lol... so sian... today lesson quite easy... my horoscope say i need plenty of rest... and need to center myself... i think quite true... cos i really lose control over myself.. need to stablise...

My dear... how long more you need to take...
Argggg... i really cant take it leh... pls...
It's so long le... forget it ba...
Dun think...
that is how it goes...
you can do it de... all i needed is time... very very long...
hai... how long should i take...
how how... kept thinking...
go slp la... should dump everything aside first...
tml wake up and things will be prepare for you... yeah...
Cant predict the future...

Really down recently...

Sorry RPWS... didnt come for practise again... i really tired... really stress and sad about all the sch stuff... i scared i couldn't handle it... too much things... i dunnoe how sia... take one things at a time... cannot la.. when things come it's too late le... not sure how... really very sad... i very scared...

really miss you guys out there... but i didnt have time for you guys... feel like haven't been meeting up with u guys for quite some times... though performance is jus over... hum... needed some time for myself to rest and recover... trying to settle down with all the sch work and work stuff... and for guitar... headache... stop trying to find more performances... i really cannot take it le... now i noe been involve with two IGs with lots of commiment is difficult... really difficult... one side is falling... hai.. keep wondering on those bo liao stuff really exhausted... Pls would you guys make life easier for us... maybe i expecting too much from myself and all... when things fail... really upset abt it... really really...

erm...

Oh my god... how sia?
No no pls... arggg....
i'm going crazy le...
i gonna kill myself soon... it's only the first week and im like fully packed... no time for myself... oh pls... give mi a break...
can i take off from all the practises for 1 week... i really need that... think i should...

Watch movies...

Hey who wants to watch The Corpse Bride, Dukes of Hazzard, the Red Shoes with mi... hehe... msg mi... whahha

Sick again... oh no...

Sick 2 times in a month... nv happen before... think i'm really tired... really cannot make it liao... not sure how would it be when sch reopen... i think i'm killing myself... for the past whole month i have been eating fast food almost everyday... hai... sick of it le...

yup... yesterday sunday... RPWS first outdoor performance.. the places really sucks... there wasn't lots of audience.. mostly all friends come and support onli...but anyway... it's alright la...didnt really bother about it.. jus do better for the concert can liao... then after performance when to PS foor court to eat... everyone was very tired... after that went to watch the myth... quite a stupid show la... the story line really stupid.. but if you ignore the story line then it considered a not bad show ba.. ahaha..

hai... today wake up so early in the morning was feeling sick lor... down with flu... but still ok la... went to the stupid fire flies health farm (vegetable farm)... lol... ate ice cream there... $2.70... quite ex but it's hard to find it outside.. hehe so ok la.. then went home to slp till 4 ++ wake up quickily rush out of house le.. almost late for work.. whahaha... hum.. didnt noe that the people at borders are cool too.. hehe... after work went to eat at mac and then slack there talk talk... hum... consider not a bad job la... think i would enjoy myself there.. hehe.. but most of them smoke leh.. hehe... why all the cool cool people smoke one... hehe later i become one of the smokers too... but dun think i will la... but becoming more wild? maybe yes... hehe.. damm tired and sick... didnt get my rest... hai.. going to die soon... how i wish... life full of misery.. whahhaha... having too much fun recently.. cannot la... hai... so busy so long didnt blog le.. hehe... i going slp soon le.. nite nite.. hehe...

Was a few days ago since mt last blog... felt like it was quite long... whahaha
so much happen this week.. and i'm damm busy with my work and all... i'm so sorry RPWS... didnt go for band that whole week... hope u guys will understand.. hai.. and genre... is getting worse and worse... really lost... since after i sick... i've got no energy to move on... even though i had recover but i'm still feeling i'm sick... but then still have to get over it fast... there's lot of things waiting for mi.. so sick so sick... and the worse things was yesterday nite... one crazy fellow. really make mi mad and crazy.. it's so irritating... i dun wan to ans rite.. why mus u force mi to.. what's wrong with u man... U R MAD!!! u should go for some psycology counseling.. really like an mad man... so unreasonable... nobody will be so unreasonable as you... cant stand it... scold mi what ever u like... yup.. i'm so wat.. not as worse as u.. u r a beast man... who ever i'm with and what i do it's none of ur business... u r jus my frenz, i have the right to choose not to ans... dun say i dun have becos of what ever reason you can come out with.. it's damm stupid... so childish... u are alway right and i'm alway wrong... and u alway have the right to say and i jus have to listen, i dun have the right to say anything i wan and wat ever i said, u jus cant get anything into ur head, and jus insist that u r right. fuck up attitude... it's really unreasonable... and u are so rude... what words cant come out of ur mouth? and u used that to scold mi! what to do... talking to a person who doesnt listen... hang up lor.. and wat u said? keep calling mi and i ignore u. use ur brain and think can? u wan to talk to people is that how u talk? who will wan to pick up ur call... and alway asking stupid question... jus feel like killing myself so that i get away from the harrassment... it's damm irritating... nothing can make mi so irritate and mad that i wan to kill myself... if not for my parents i would really do that.. ok... enough of this person... If only human are like computer then it's good.. becos you can delete... and empty recycle bin... and if it's like virus... dan reformat...

Hum.. wat else leh..
dunnoe.. hehe go watch tv le...

Grades...

Can't believe that i actually went to sch late... only reach there for second meeting.. and still get As for that few lessons... while for those dat i've come on time i get something worse... Plus those faci who gave A are usually very very strict... whaha.. shows that i should attend lesson late so that i'll get A.. lol...
And A for pharmaco ut... nv expect it... while those few days although is like slacking... but then there's certain limits... hehe... but not bad la... got good grades... hehe

So busy...

I got so much to blog.. but i dun have the time... whaha... hai... real busy this few days... very tired... and today not sure what's wrong... kept eating.. has been eating alot.. hai... dunnoe how to control... all the things i wan to eat, hehe. so much nice nice food out there for mi, really hard to control lor... hai.. maybe under stress ba... that's why keep on eating... hum.. onli when i'm stress i do that... hai.. i going slp le la.. dunnoe what i talking also... bye nite nite...

Bored to death...

Dunnoe why... my right eyes keep on twitching the whole day since i'm out of house... till now is still twitching.. quite irritating.. nothing happen also.. haha...
this few days very sian leh.. i dunnoe why leh... whether i went out or not... it doesn't seems any diff. something seems to be missing...

Boring..

So sian... dunnoe what to do... feel like slping once i reach home...
Its holiday... and i kept feeling tired... so sian... dunnoe what to do...
I'm like living in my dream... everyday...
Each day i reach home, that feeling was the same as i've jus woke up... not sure what i'm doing... waking up each day with a tired eyes.. so restless... reach home jus feel like slping..
Hai... dunnoe la... jus live each day as it is ba... dun feel like doing anything special with it... do as what it comes...

Tired, Tired...

wondering why i'm so tired... real tired... what i want is to slp but wasn't really what i want to do... it's my mind controlling over mi now... lost control of myself.
i wasn't able to tell a dreams from reality... during my slp many things happen in my slp, jus like a dream to mi... but it wasn't... sometimes i dream... i tot is reality but is different... if only it's real... and if only...
hai... how much slp do i need? tired... after watching 10 mins of show in my bed.. my eyes started to close... hai... miss my show.. whahaha...

Stood there and wait...
Can only watch...
nothing much i can do...
Trying my best to do what i can...
Wonder was it my fault...
Wonder what would have happen if i've done something abt it...
Maybe it wun be much different but at least i did something which leave mi without regrets...
I'm still thinking abt it..
N if any1 who ask mi "are you still thinking", i would say alway say yes, i am. it's a challenge for mi.
Challenging myself for the better...
Too tired to go for it le...
I'm staying at this position for maybe half a year or the rest of my life in RP.
Can't push any harder...
Dun ask mi to..
I can only use this much... i noe where is my limit...
Thinking back... lots of thing happens... it's not any1 fault... you might end up finding faults you did... sorry...
i now know the reason... i noe what to do... and what i shouldn't.
k i think after so much things... that's enough for mi... can't take any more... needed plenty and plenty of rest...

Recently i very tired, everyday reach home whether late or early. even before i reach home i'm tired le... what's wrong.. i'm not like dat de... maybe becos of my sickness... eyes still sore and red.. getting better le.. hehe..

i'm feeling very terrible. i can't eat, i can't walk properly. my whole body aching. My eyes can't open properly... a blur vision on my left eye. the eye drop doesn't help... i dun wan to slp anymore.. have been slping the whole day, now feel like vomiting, but nothing come out. jus feeling my lung going to break apart. my eyes making mi feel headache, will i be better tml... dun feel like going to doctor... cos haven been visiting them since young. the last time i'm sicked, i was also having fever... but nv been so terrible... wonder hu noes? hai... think mus be the rain yesterday, plus eating ice cream without my meal, dan after sch ate KFC. in the morning already not feeling well... and kept walking under the rain... the whole day had been walking under rain.. it was raining the whole day... hai...

I'm sick le...

i'm having fever 38.7 degree... very cold... and having red eyes on both side... it's really painful to have red eyes... my first time sick till so serious... fever while having cold plus the eyes making mi more headache, can't open my eyes if i close for too long... and can't close it if open for too long, it's swollen... can feel my whole body is boiling except my hand and feet is super cold... not sure what to do... my parents not at home... left mi alone hinding in the blanket... the blanket is hot... can't stop the temperature from rising... walking around feel like falling... i'm really sick this time... not sure when will i recover... nobody will understand how i feel right now... jus now went to work with red eyes... after that it's getting worse and worse... and started to feel cold there, usually i dun't... didnt know it... tot would be better after eating and drikin tea... but the cold it getting worse and worse... no choice but to go home... it's not good to have red eyes... everyone on the street keep looking at you like one kind... no choice but to look down and walk instead... it really red and i was very scare...
help...

Stupid mi...
Didnt get it right...

it's too long to be a crush... too short for long term development...

Give up, but still aiming high...

Dun wan, but still hoping for it...

Life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier

For some life lasts a short while, but the memories it holds last forever

How do I change?
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labour.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.

No appetite...

One day one meal... sometime didnt even eat... like today just have snack... i dun feel hungry at all... it's difficult to give up... it's kind of weird... last night i feel so hungry and didnt eat... today i didnt even feel hungry... i going to meet up yunjing now... blog again when i reach home..
Hum... continue...
Now at guitar there le... waiting for people to come for meeting... dan doing nothing lor... yunjing they all end class early went tiong bahru to eat... mi haven had any meal... dunnoe is it the sch food that make dun feel like eating or something else... ok... yup dan they buy honey milk tea for mi... my fav..
feel very sian jus now in class, alone listening to music dan slp... rest for awhile... dan, thinking of something else... boring...

hungry hungry...

argggg....
i'm hungry leh.... dunnoe why i kept complaining hungry... nv heard people alway complain de leh... maybe i dunnoe when i will be hungry and dunnoe when i'm full... cos whether i'm full or not, i c food i like will buy de... only noe i'm hungry if my stomach calling out... hai... siao siao de... hum... sometime can whole day dun wan eat dan something eat alot alot... how ar... cannot maintain my regular meal... hungry at such a weird timing.. now is 12 plus and i wan to slp le...